Tag Archives: #deardepression

Seeing through my eyes clearly

My view of living with a major depressive illness for 40 years


It is the same path that I have walked for years … and yet …… it is different

I know where it goes … and yet …. I can’t find my way

Where once the path was punctuated by light and texture …

Now … it has melded into one mass of indistinct grey

The sameness draws from me a sigh of despair

Gone are the feelings of joy

Gone are the pleasures in simple stuff

Laughter has left the building

….  due to lack of interest

It is like waking to a Winter’s day but being deprived of the preliminary Autumn colours

Deja vue …. I know this feeling – I have been here before…so many, many times

Yes … I am an old hand at this and yet, if only I could remember how  …

The echoes of laughter and light are but a whisper in the gloom …

One step at a time, down the path that I have walked before

If only I could remember how …

What was that first step? …

it is within me to recall, that I know – for when I stand in terror, frozen to the spot …

In darkness and dread

I am aware that my salvation rests in the knowledge that the key to escape lies within me

If only I could remember how!

Oh yes … small steps

I remember now… Walk and breathe … and walk some more … it doesn’t matter where

By remote control I start to unlock the door

Yes …. I remember now Continue reading Seeing through my eyes clearly